i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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