Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
he was CRYING into my vagina
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
