so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
This baby is an asshole
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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