Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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