I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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