Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
