it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
So many bounce houses so little time
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
