okay pat passed out under dana's car
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
