and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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