Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize