Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize