So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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