is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
