It's a beautiful day for a hangover
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
