Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
