god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
the liver wants what the liver wants
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Randomize
