We won't sleep together?
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
