And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You pole danced in your parka.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
