if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
