i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
