Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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