I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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