yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
