i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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