what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
