ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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