is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
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