I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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