after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
When are your genitals available?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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