Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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