he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
are you so shy because you have an std?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize