No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
