I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
You are the jesus of drinking
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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