we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize
