He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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