Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
