White coat. Heels.
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
