Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
