I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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