So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
