She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize