I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
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