You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
