All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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