Michael Bay diarrhea
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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