Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Randomize
