dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
