I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Houston, we have a squirter
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
