shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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