i can't believe i had my finger in that
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
