wat bout pragnant strippers??
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
