I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
