he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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