i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
