Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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