Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
she told me i tasted like america
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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