Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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