Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
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