Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
