I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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