I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
