The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I lost the right to judge tonight
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
