i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
